When Feathers Flew: The Wadena Song about Herman Fink
Music and lyrics by Elisa Korenne

Herman Fink was new in town
Built a grocery on the corner and settled down
To bring in customers and make it pay
He offered free gifts for three Saturdays
At first people crowded in groups and pairs
In the back alley crates climbed high in the air
When it was time, they asked all to stand by
Then a hundred hens rained down from the sky

Feathers flew, the chickens too
Officials didn’t know what to do
Young boys chased, hens escaped, fistfights between tightly laced
Mrs. Brown smashed to the ground
Two car windshields were knocked out
Ladies fussing, gentlemen cussing
And bird waste was everywhere mussing

That week Fink saw the town’s ire rise
He figured he needed a different prize
He replaced the hens from the week before
With a bird he thought would be a better score
The customers thought they knew what to expect
They came with boxes to collect
But Leghorn cockerels can run and fly
Pretty quickly everything went awry

Feathers flew, the roosters too
Officials watched them take to roofs
Cockerels raced. People chased, to find birds and get a taste
The very next morning on every store awning
Were cockerels dropping their special bird warnings
Fink said people shouldn’t fuss, Too many feathers mussed
The people called for a Herman Fink bust

Though gentleman sniggered, in the ladies it triggered a new chicken safety brigade
Herman, disgraced, tried to save face, and gave up his bird-based scheme
Birds cooed and cawed, Fink hemmed and hawed
And finally compromised for the last week
On the third Saturday, Fink let down his fans
When from his roof it rained beach balls instead of bird contraband

No feathers flew
‘Twas balls Fink threw
Officials had nothing to do
No birds misplaced
Of fistfights, no trace
No one left Wadena disgraced
No ladies fussing
No gentleman cussing
No one wiping off bird mussing
Wadena settled back down
To be a quiet town
Where boring is better than too many birds around
But we can still remember…

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